That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize