Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
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