Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
only if we run a train.
done.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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