This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..