four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
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I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
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I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.