Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia

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  (202): He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia http://tfl.nu/7fa5
  Replies (17) Good night (1980) Bad night (561) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.

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  (404): Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one. http://tfl.nu/q7a8
  Replies (2) Good night (2630) Bad night (416)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?

  (1-563): View more from Iowa

  The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?

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  (563): How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence? (1-563): The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them? http://tfl.nu/0g65
  Replies (46) Good night (2694) Bad night (1078)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  what day is it and did you see me today?

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  (225): what day is it and did you see me today? http://tfl.nu/sgc7
  Replies (7) Good night (6063) Bad night (705) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons

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  (813): she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons http://tfl.nu/lk3m
  Replies (37) Good night (636) Bad night (4691)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner

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  (260): spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner http://tfl.nu/qp2j
  Replies (15) Good night (535) Bad night (4931) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  birth control should be required to get into college

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  (413): birth control should be required to get into college http://tfl.nu/91c5
  Replies (28) Good night (5576) Bad night (916) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well

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  (917): about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well http://tfl.nu/ygjn
  Replies (14) Good night (4960) Bad night (1059) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.

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  (518): Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy. http://tfl.nu/6ng1
  Replies (5) Good night (3790) Bad night (751) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.

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  (541): There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet. http://tfl.nu/xrf4
  Replies (12) Good night (2392) Bad night (817) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it

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  (419): The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it http://tfl.nu/cai3
  Replies (9) Good night (1894) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.

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  (860): I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us. http://tfl.nu/pfss
  Replies (3) Good night (1593) Bad night (836) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.

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  (773): Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh. http://tfl.nu/c68d
  Replies (0) Good night (613) Bad night (271) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.

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  (508): He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare. http://tfl.nu/rbhx
  Replies (3) Good night (1058) Bad night (437) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.

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  (904): He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard. http://tfl.nu/3loy
  Replies (9) Good night (241) Bad night (925)

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