her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
