I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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