thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize