why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
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I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
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Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out