did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
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