my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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