So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize