She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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