he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
