You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
then he tried to convert me to islam
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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