took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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