Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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