Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I have poison ivy on my dick
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine