apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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