oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.