thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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