she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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