He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
the raccoons are back...
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