Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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