4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Terrible idea I love it
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