thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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