Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Randomize
