It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
