he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
