sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize