You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My feet surprised me
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
