You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
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dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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