I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
this is an emotional support booty call
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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