Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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