your room smells of hookers.
And success
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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