we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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