but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
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My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
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Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.