I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
