I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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