Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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