She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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