they need to just BURY HIM!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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