I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
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You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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