My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december