too bad you live with your parents still
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination