We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize