Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
And then my night got REAL pukey
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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