I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
