i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
