I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
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And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
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Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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