U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i barfeds in our rink
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Everclear isn't food dammit
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize