I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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