I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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