He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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