how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize